Let me start by saying I didn’t have a clue what married life was going to be like; here it’s one of the most important decisions a person makes in their life and I just winged it. I winged it because all I knew is that I wanted to marry Maggie so beyond this was a complete fog. It’s human nature but not smart.
Fortunately for me it worked but that certainly isn’t the case with a lot of marriages. I believe one of the reasons it worked for Maggie and me was because we were such good friends. We grew together because we enjoyed doing most of the same things and we enjoyed doing them together. I don’t know for sure but it seems to me that if a couple gets together based on the premise that opposites attract then how can they continue to grow together when they don’t have similar beliefs or interests? I know there’ve been many successful marriages where the husband and wife were very different but in today’s environment where marriage isn’t as much of a vow, I can see the opposites attract mindset being less and less successful.
I had very few things when I got married because I had been in the Navy for years. I’ve learned this is a good because even if I had a lot of stuff it would’ve eventually made its way out the door. I noticed this phenomenon as buddies of mine began getting married. Every time I’d go over to their house I’d find another item of theirs missing. One day it’s a picture another day it’s a piece of furniture. Anyway, somewhere along the way men learn they apparently have zero taste; something they had no knowledge of before they got married! :)
I’ve also learned that you might as well pay attention to what your wife is saying instead of nodding your head and watching TV because eventually she’ll trip you up with the question: “Hey, what did I just say?” All kidding aside, you can really demonstrate love to your wife by showing her respect through paying attention to what she says. Let me wrap up this topic with a few things you can do to create a great marriage:
1) Say something nice to your spouse at least once a day.
2) Kiss your spouse before bed, before leaving your house and every time you come home. Hugs work great too.
3) Go out on a date at least once every two weeks.
4) Write a nice note (i.e. kisses, love you, you're having a great hair day, etc.) every few months and put it somewhere like the silverware drawer to where your spouse will stumble across it. It truly is the little things that count.
5) Write a note or a list of all the things you appreciate about your spouse and keep it in your purse or wallet. When you start getting mad about something your spouse did read the note before doing or saying anything; it can greatly help your attitude.
6) Always remember there's no one else in the world that you should try to impress more than your spouse.
Lastly, please keep in mind that it's very much worth doing everything you can to make your marriage work for all kinds of reasons. This is why second and third marriages end in divorce 40% more often than first marriages.
The bottom line is that people think moving on will be better but they find that issues they thought they had run from, still exist in their new marriage. This is because they weren't effectively addressed in their first marriage. Plus it's not just their marital baggage but also the other persons as well. The best thing you can do (because of how important a good marriage is to having a good life) is see a marriage counselor anytime you start having bad feelings about your marriage. No marriage is perfect so don't think yours should be. Seeing a marriage counselor might be one of the best investments you ever make.
Fortunately for me it worked but that certainly isn’t the case with a lot of marriages. I believe one of the reasons it worked for Maggie and me was because we were such good friends. We grew together because we enjoyed doing most of the same things and we enjoyed doing them together. I don’t know for sure but it seems to me that if a couple gets together based on the premise that opposites attract then how can they continue to grow together when they don’t have similar beliefs or interests? I know there’ve been many successful marriages where the husband and wife were very different but in today’s environment where marriage isn’t as much of a vow, I can see the opposites attract mindset being less and less successful.
I had very few things when I got married because I had been in the Navy for years. I’ve learned this is a good because even if I had a lot of stuff it would’ve eventually made its way out the door. I noticed this phenomenon as buddies of mine began getting married. Every time I’d go over to their house I’d find another item of theirs missing. One day it’s a picture another day it’s a piece of furniture. Anyway, somewhere along the way men learn they apparently have zero taste; something they had no knowledge of before they got married! :)
I’ve also learned that you might as well pay attention to what your wife is saying instead of nodding your head and watching TV because eventually she’ll trip you up with the question: “Hey, what did I just say?” All kidding aside, you can really demonstrate love to your wife by showing her respect through paying attention to what she says. Let me wrap up this topic with a few things you can do to create a great marriage:
1) Say something nice to your spouse at least once a day.
2) Kiss your spouse before bed, before leaving your house and every time you come home. Hugs work great too.
3) Go out on a date at least once every two weeks.
4) Write a nice note (i.e. kisses, love you, you're having a great hair day, etc.) every few months and put it somewhere like the silverware drawer to where your spouse will stumble across it. It truly is the little things that count.
5) Write a note or a list of all the things you appreciate about your spouse and keep it in your purse or wallet. When you start getting mad about something your spouse did read the note before doing or saying anything; it can greatly help your attitude.
6) Always remember there's no one else in the world that you should try to impress more than your spouse.
Lastly, please keep in mind that it's very much worth doing everything you can to make your marriage work for all kinds of reasons. This is why second and third marriages end in divorce 40% more often than first marriages.
The bottom line is that people think moving on will be better but they find that issues they thought they had run from, still exist in their new marriage. This is because they weren't effectively addressed in their first marriage. Plus it's not just their marital baggage but also the other persons as well. The best thing you can do (because of how important a good marriage is to having a good life) is see a marriage counselor anytime you start having bad feelings about your marriage. No marriage is perfect so don't think yours should be. Seeing a marriage counselor might be one of the best investments you ever make.
RSS Feed