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The Carpenters (Four Minutes to Read)

8/1/2014

Karen and her brother Richard Carpenter sang together from 1969 – 1983. During a time where rock music ruled they came on the scene singing songs that fit Adult Contemporary, Pop, and Soft Rock. They almost weren’t signed by a record label.   One being it would be a huge risk because there wasn’t a defined market for their style of music. Two, they wanted Karen to stop playing drums and instead step up and be the lead singer. At this point she didn’t know she had a great voice plus she was overweight so she didn’t want to be the lead singer. The record label loved
her sound because it was lower than a lot of female artists and she could go up
three octaves which created all kinds of opportunities for different songs. They
also said they’d never heard someone with that silky of a voice.

Although they were different from a personality perspective both Karen and Richard shared a love of music and they listened to it all the time. Richard ended up being a great song writer and musician so he’d get Karen involved so he could hear how his songs would sound. Unlike many band members who struggle with relationships while on the road Karen and Richard were doing great until she started making herself sick so she could lose weight. At one point she passed out during a concert in Las Vegas and Richard was livid that she was ruining both of their careers.

They never really recovered from this as Karen wouldn’t stop and Richard took up taking drugs which went completely against their squeaky clean image. Something unique to Richard that most musicians know is that he was a leading pioneer in using an electric piano on stage. He no longer had to worry about a piano being available when they toured and he didn’t have to worry about the pianos being in tune a couple of things he considered stressful.

Karen always struggled with her weight even when she was a teenager; the record label was a little worried about this. When she got older the family figured out what she was doing to herself and asked her to get help but the fact is anorexia was a rare illness back then plus Karen didn’t want the help anyway. Partly because it would negatively affect their touring and partly because of the stigma attached to anorexia.

Many people in the music industry would agree The Carpenters didn’t get the
credit they deserved. Music critics covered the mainstream music like Hard Rock,
R&B, and Soul they really didn’t care about Contemporary, Pop, and Soft
Rock music. These people along with DJ’s could steer an artist’s career whether
good or bad. But attempts to pan The Carpenters became difficult because they kept showing up in the charts (several times number one), and winning awards because of their huge fan base which uniquely included almost every age group.

Here are some of their amazing accomplishments:

They performed 814 concerts over a 14 year period. They did have to cancel 46 shows along the way because of Karen and Richard’s problems. They created  23 albums. Participated in 23 TV shows. Won 18 different awards. Their first year alone they were nominated for 8 awards and won Best New Artists of the Year and Best Vocal Performance. “Close to You,” album of the year and “We’ve Only Just Begun” song of the year were also nominated. In 1973, Carpenters were voted Favorite
Pop/Rock Band, Duo, or Group at the first annual American Music Awards. They sold over 100,000,000 records.

Karen visited her parents on the morning before her death and the very next day her mom found Karen on the floor of her walk-in closet and she wasn’t responsive.
Not long after the ambulance got her to the hospital she was pronounced dead. The autopsy stated that Karen's death was a heart attack caused by Anorexia Nervosa. After a long 14 year career her voice was officially silenced; that beautiful silky voice gone after 32 years of life. Richard is still alive and has five children and continues to produce and write.

I hope these songs will bring back memories of how Karen sang and the fact that we lost a superstar: “We’ve Only Just Begun,” “Close to You,” and “Yesterday Once
More.”

How to Build Great Rapport (Four Minutes to Read)

8/1/2014

This article is absolutely life changing in a good way!

I taught how to build rapport in classes I gave when I was in the business world. I don’t think a lot of people give this topic much thought but it directly affects the quality and success of our lives. There are always those superstar exceptions but most people need others to like them if they want to be successful and certainly having the ability to build rapport, positively affects our relationships (i.e. co-workers, family, friends, etc.), in one way or another.

Building rapport isn’t that difficult it just takes knowing what to do and practice. Some people have an innate ability but it’s certainly the exception to the norm. Some people have an innate ability not to build rapport like people who are driven (Type-A Personalities). These people have to work harder at it because their personality doesn’t include a lot of people skills…they especially don’t have patience for those who aren’t driven.

Here are some things to know about this topic:

Ø Remember people care less about being impressed than they do to impress. This means when you’re at social gatherings don’t try and sell yourself instead be a great listener and allow them to sell themselves. If he or she asks you specific questions about what you do for a living then answer but do it in a humble way instead of trying to make more of it than it is.

In dealing with business people it might be necessary to share more insight into your work exploits but more people in your life don’t care about your success story and in some cases they don’t like it. You might not think you’re bragging but when you’re talking to people who might not be doing as well as you, they might think you are and of course this is a potential kiss of death when trying to create great relationships.

Ø Anywhere you go whether it’s something small like a dinner with friends or a business meeting, think ahead about some things you can offer to the conversation. A little while back I was at a dinner where a girls’ soccer coach was there. He was from Argentina and his wife from Brazil and of course die hard World Cup fans. I did some quick Wiki research on their countries and we had a great time talking about their homelands at the party.

I went to a business meeting in Florida with the people from Florida’s Natural Orange Juice and did some research on their company. It was very interesting in many ways; I found that farmers owned the company (CO-OP) but they left all marketing and sales to a separate organization. Their expertise was in farming not selling their product. Anyhow, they loved talking with me about their company and for years made sure I was invited to any social gatherings they gave even though I wasn’t specifically involved with their account anymore.

The bottom line is you won’t be as effective as you should be if you don’t do some homework. My wife Maggie will sometimes say she feels uncomfortable trying to come up with things to say when we get together with other people. I always remind her that she doesn’t need to worry about saying much just ask people questions and they’ll take it from there.

Ø Learn to steer conversations back to the other person. It’s easy sometimes to go down a rabbit hole when you’re telling a particular story but do your best to get the other person talking again. People just don’t have the attention span they did ten years ago so you lessen negative exposure the less you talk.

Ø There are all kinds of awesome quotes available on-line about a variety of topics. On a business front I was always dealing with people who would fly in to see us in our corporate office so how about this for an example... “You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.” The subject of dogs came up quite frequently: “You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” I was always going out to dinner with clients: “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

Last one because it just happened today. The teenage boy (Austen), who mows my lawn, is a baseball Phenom who will end up with a college scholarship next year. Before he left I gave him a funny quote (I researched funny baseball quotes), and that is: “Why have people for decades sing: ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?” He loved it. I don’t like corny jokes but I do like to bring humor through relevant and funny quotes and this easily builds rapport; besides I’m a terrible joke teller.

Ø Most people who have families don’t mind at all talking about them it’s one of the best ways to build rapport as it’s a matter of the heart. If you’re talking to someone who has children, work in asking their ages and names. Find out if they play sports. Be careful about asking things like if they’re married or where they went to college. You don’t want to draw out anything negative like she’s divorced and/or didn’t go to college.

Play it safe and uncover the positives someone would want to share and not set yourself up for anything that could deflate the rapport you’re trying to build. Attorneys like to say if you ask a sensitive question you better already know the answer. In other words if you know she went to a particular college then ask away…if you don’t you’re taking a risk.

Ø If you’re talking to someone pay attention. At work we tried to stay focused on our conversations and not let people passing by in the hallway interrupt our talks; it was a conscious effort by everyone. It’s rude to look around while someone is talking to you. When you pay attention you pay respect which of course is a great way to build rapport.

Ø We all know it’s the little things that matter. One of our clients (Tammy), had a baby girl and her name is Olivia. I was on a business trip and came across an adorable diaper bag with the name Olivia on it. I bought it and had it sent to Tammy’s office. She called me immediately all excited and so thankful for what I did; it certainly helped build a huge amount of rapport with her but I didn’t do it for that purpose as I thought the world of her; regardless of my intent the end result was greater rapport.

I’d notes for different people at work…such a simple thing. One time I left a note for our office manager in her in-box and all it said was: “You’re awesome!” So simple and she absolutely loved it. I sent a customer service representative (Donna), a letter who was with one of the company’s we dealt with, thanking her for the extraordinary job she was doing in servicing us saying she was the best I’d ever seen. Years later I was talking to one of their account executives and he told me she still had my letter on the wall of her cubicle. Once again I didn’t do this to intentionally build rapport I just did the right thing and it was a byproduct. It doesn’t take much and there are hundreds of things you can do to show people you care. Don’t forget “build” rapport is an action word.

Ø Some things that can make you lose rapport are: complaining, judging, being negative, gossiping, talking politics (unless you already know their view and it fits your own), speaking monotone etc. By the way monotone is an offspring of monotonous...boring! You need to pay attention to hear if you fluctuate your voice; basically does your voice match what you’re talking about? Some people communicate better with others due more to how they say things than what they’re saying.

I had to share a lot because there’s a lot to this topic. Knowing how to build rapport will completely change your life in a positive way. It always feels great when other people like to be around you. It also feels great to proactively look for ways to make people feel appreciated…let’s face it life is tough so when we do things to make people happy we stand out in a very good way. I hope you’ll at least try some of these ideas because it won’t take long for you to see the results.

The key here is to “build” rapport, it’s an action word. The actions are easy to do it just takes motivating yourself enough to make it happen. I believe it was Zig Ziglar who said: “The problem with things that are easy to do is that they’re also easy not to do” very profound. If you’re already great at building rapport with other people then that’s good but if you’re not, this is your chance to change your life by having better relationships with everyone you want. Start building.

August 01st, 2014

8/1/2014

Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) One Minute to Read

8/1/2014

AN AMAZING STORY

Sorry for the long paragraph coming up but everything is connected. Thomas Jefferson was a very remarkable man who started learning very early in life and never stopped. Note he lived 83 years which was unheard of at the time, I wonder if his lifelong learning had anything to do with it? I'm proud to say he was a "Knowledge Seeker!"

At 5, Jefferson began studying under his cousin's tutor. At 9, studied Latin, Greek and French. At 14, studied classical literature and could speak five languages (French, Greek, Italian, Latin and Spanish). At 16, entered the College of William and Mary and could write in Greek with one hand while writing the same in Latin with the other. At 19, began studying law. At 23, started his law practice. At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses. At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary View of the Rights of British America. At 32, retired from law and became a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress. At 33, mostly wrote the Declaration of Independence. At 33, took three years to revise Virginia's legal code and wrote a Public Education Bill and a Statute for Religious Freedom. At 36, was elected the second Governor of Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry. At 40, served in Congress for two years. At 41, was the American Minister to France and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams. At 46, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington. At 53, served as Vice President and was elected president of the American Philosophical Society. At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and became the active head of Republican Party. At 57, was elected the third president of the United States. At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase doubling the nation's size. At 61, was elected to a second term as President. At 65, retired to Monticello. At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine. At 81, almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia and served as its first president. At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams who also died that day.

Thomas Jefferson knew the positive and much negative affects of government because he studied the previous failed attempts that occurred around the world. He understood actual history, the nature of God, God’s law, and the nature of man.

John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the White House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."

A voice from the past to lead us into the future:

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

“My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

"To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical." Wow, does this hit home with me.

I provide you with information about amazing people all the time; I have to put Thomas Jefferson close if not at the top. By the way when I read this, I felt very inept!

Term Limits (One Minute to Read)

8/1/2014

Not just 80% of my friends and family believe in term limits but everyone I talk to would like to move towards it. Here are some thoughts:

Our forefathers very clearly expressed their intent was to have citizen legislators (service oriented) to be utilized not career politicians who get out of touch with society. It’s only natural as even in the business world those at the top sometimes lose insight because most of their time is spent in the ivory tower.

Having six-year term limits for the House and Senate would help us in several ways. First of all, it often takes around two years in a professional position to become highly effective so it would create more productivity if all representatives could serve four years after the learning curve.

Secondly, politicians wouldn’t have to spend time raising money for re-election; could you imagine how much more productive they’d become?

Thirdly, Democrats and Republicans would be more inclined to work together because they wouldn’t need to worry about playing political games in an effort to get support (campaign funds), from their party for re-election efforts. Just look at the support Kay Hagan is getting because Democrats can’t afford to lose the seat. They will potentially buy an election and this is something we can’t live with anymore because it’s too dangerous.

I think these are tremendous advantages. I could’ve have missed something but I don’t see anything on the table in reference to Term Limit Legislation. Neither party wants this even though we do…who’s running the show? Are they truly working for us? I believe they do work for us the problem is they work for themselves first.

King John (1166 - 1213) Two Minutes to Read

8/1/2014

King John of England was an interesting man; he was a driven man. The youngest of five sons he tried to figure out a way to become king even though he was so far down the family ladder. The fact that three of his brothers died at an early age helped his chances. If it weren't for his living older brother letting the King down in squelching a major rebellion he would've never had a chance; but this and the fact that King Henry II favored him, made his way to the throne much easier.

King John had many flaws and among these was his lack of respect for those beneath him. He even had sex with the wives of various Nobles throughout the territory because he knew they could do nothing about it. Bad move on his part as this became the final straw causing all these men, in all their territories, to revolt. Think about this though, the commoners wanted to revolt for years but it wasn't until the Nobles were negatively affected that it happened. It’s true what they say: “It’s not a problem until it’s your problem.” The Nobles used their money to build armies although these weren't trained fighters but they too hated the King so they had inspiration to fight.

When the King found out about the rebellion he agreed to sign a Magna Carta with the Nobles stipulating everyone in their regions would be free from English Rule (which meant no more taxes). Once things calmed down and the rebellions stopped, the King got his army together plus some Danish mercenaries, and attempted to annihilate every Noble who signed the Magna Carta thus taking his kingdom back. Apparently when he signed it he had no intention of living up to its terms he just wanted the various regions to disarm so he could go in and clean house and put his own people in place.

King John had the support of the Pope because the Pope wasn't aware of his atrocities, but the Bishop for King John’s region didn't agree with the Pope and instead supported the rebellion. Knowing what they were trying to do was a long shot the Bishop traveled to France. He wanted to convince their King to help the rebellion thus making the King of France also the King of England. This interested him but the problem was getting to England in time to support the rebellion before it was squelched.

King John heard the French might be coming but he didn’t believe they’d want any part of their civil war. He didn’t think the villagers would put up a fight and that he and his army would push right through but the villagers did at least slow King John’s army down and this was exactly what the core of the rebellion needed. The rebel army took over a castle/garrison that was an important location for the protection of England. They built catapults, prepared tar to be poured on the soldiers trying to scale the wall, they forged steel for more swords, they carved more arrows, etc. They were prepared when King John got there.

This particular location was the spot King John had to have control of as it was the supply line for all military operations from London and the southern territories. He underestimated the talent that was on the other side of the wall and the military armory they had. Besides having several military generals participating in the fight a lot of fighters fought in the Holy War (Great Crusade), so they knew what they were doing. Almost more importantly they had three Knights Templar fighting for the rebellion. These Knights grew up in a monastery where besides religious training they were also taught to be warriors for the Pope. These three knights might not seem like enough to make a big difference but they were instrumental in logistics, military tactics, training, and of course their specialty…fighting.

King John’s army and Danish mercenaries made several attempts to break into the garrison but they ended up capturing part of it but couldn't break into the other side where the remaining fighters were poised to take them on again. King John was furious that the battle had gone on so long but he was willing to wait for the people in the garrison to starve to death or surrender. Surrendering wasn’t a good option as King John had a technique he liked to use where the hands and feet were cut off the victim then hung and these people were aware of it.

King John didn’t get the chance to starve the rebels out as over the hill came the French Army just in time to save the people in the garrison and villagers throughout the country. They ran King John off and continued to help the rebellion (civil war), until it was officially over. King John didn’t fare well as he died of dysentery on his way back to his castle and King Henry III took over as King up until France claimed the crown. England and France went back and forth like this for decades.

This is a great example of the heart being mightier than the sword. Think how scary it must have been for villagers to take on the Royal Army but they stepped up and did it; I’d like to think I’d be this brave. King John inspired his kingdom to take up arms against him when he could have just as easily gained their respect and want to serve him; a good lesson for all leaders to take care of your people because they can make or break you. In this case the Rebels accomplished their goal and held the fort!

The Carpenters (Four Minutes to Read)

How to Build Great Rapport (Four Minutes to Read)

August 01st, 2014

Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) One Minute to Read

Term Limits (One Minute to Read)

King John (1166 - 1213) Two Minutes to Read

Author: John Mann

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