"We will heel you,
We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you."
A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
"Blind man driving."
AN OPTOMETRIST'S OFFICE:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."
ON A PLUMBING COMPANY'S TRUCKS:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
A TIRE STORE IN MILWAUKEE:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
ON AN ELECTRIAN'S TRUCK:
"Let us remove your shorts."
IN A NON-SMOKING AREA:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and
will take appropriate action."
ON A MATERNITY ROOM DOOR:
"Push. Push. Push."
AT A CAR DEALERSHIP FINANCE OFFICE:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
OUTSIDE A MUFFLER SHOP:
"No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
ON WALL IN ACCOUNTS RECEIVEABLE OF AN ELECTRIC COMPANY:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time,
however, if you don't, you will be de-lighted."
IN A RESTAURANT WINDOW:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
IN THE FRONT YARD OF A FUNERAL HOME:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
AT A PROPANE FILLING STATION:
"Thank Heaven for little grills."
IN A CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
ON THE BACK OF A SEPTIC TANK TRUCK:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises."