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Success (Three Minutes to Read)

1/1/2013

 
There are a lot of misconceptions about  what success actually means. First of all, it’s a relative word because it’s defined by people not definitively by Webster’s. Someone who’s successful is said to have money, influence, and/or power. Keep in mind the word happiness is nowhere to be found in any true definition of success. I grew up in a poor farming community in Oklahoma so it didn’t take much for me to think someone was successful so I defined it not Webster’s.   

With the above in mind, most people strive for success thinking it will bring about happiness only to have their dreams crushed once they achieve it. Think about how many entertainers came from such modest backgrounds and achieved stardom only to find it wasn’t enough. There are more psychiatrists, plastic surgeons, and rehab centers, per capita in Los Angeles than any other place in the U.S. This should send everyone a very strong message but it doesn’t. In a lot of ways success is like the fabled Sirens, who lure sea captains to their deaths through their beauty and enchanting songs. These sea captains often knew they were trouble but they couldn’t help
themselves. This is how the lure of success is. 
 
So if you can’t help yourself, I’ve listed below those things that help people become successful: 
 
1.  Becoming successful is much easier if you’re passionate about what you’re doing. A lot of people jump into things they were told could make them rich and this often leads to failure. Being passionate about something makes you more determined to stick to it even during the inevitable hard times. 
 
2.  Have a strong work ethic. Throughout my career, I’ve beaten people who were more talented than me and I did it through working harder than them. I hate to even write this, but I've found it easy to outperform other people because in my opinion only 5% of the people working in a particular department have an ownership type of mentaility, the rest are mostly focused on just getting through the day. I was always the first person in and the last to leave in the departments I worked in and my bosses always recognized this. They took this as being loyal to the company so when a promotion came along, I typically got it.   

3.  Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and play to your strengths. It’s kind of like the difference in knowing where the sweet spot is on a baseball bat. You can swing just as hard and one part of the bat will send the ball flying deep into the outfield while not hitting the sweet spot can help the other team turn a double-play. There has been countless research done on this topic and the take-away is that someone’s weaknesses are generally personality related which means good luck making much difference in trying to fix them. So they see it as wasted time and that the best investment in time is to build upon our strengths. Focus on them and make them even stronger and you’ll have a real advantage over other people.

4.  Surround yourself with people who have positive attitudes. It takes positive energy to help accomplish some of the areas I listed above. We all know that we intrinsically obtain energy from other people whether positive or negative. We literally feed off of what those around us have. I realize that in some cases it’s difficult to avoid negative people because they’re already a family member or friend but if this is the case, start limiting your time with them to the best of your ability. I’ve had to slowly let some people slip away from my life because I couldn’t afford to have them around. It’s not easy to do but I knew the outcome of my life didn’t just affect me it had the potential to positively affect a lot of people in my life. We only have one shot at life, so you need to be aware of things that will help you and what will hurt you and be willing to make tough choices regarding both. 
 
5.  Find a good coach. Having someone you can meet with on an ongoing basis, who’s already successful is a great way to help you think outside of the box. It’s too easy to get tunnel vision so you can miss some great ideas. I used to meet with other business owners every Tuesday morning at my office from 7:00 to 8:30. We’d read business books and then discuss each chapter. We’d watch presentations on our big screen and then discuss what we learned. Then we’d share any concerns we had in our businesses and pick each other’s brains. I’m retired now but I loved those meetings. Having someone you can turn to both personally and professionally takes an enormous amount of stress off of you and makes you so much more effective. Why not tap into someone else’s insight who made the journey before you? 

These are just a few tips on achieving success in your life. Once again I need to elaborate that if your desire in life is to be happy, the pursuit of success doesn’t automatically bring it in tow.  Money doesn’t buy happiness. Money buys a house but not necessarily a home. Money can buy you relationships, but not love. 
 
Not some things, but everything loses its luster. All you have to do is look around and you’ll see things everywhere that you were so excited about getting at one time and now you hardly notice they’re there. Even the excitement of buying a car or a new home, eventually loses its luster. This is one of the reasons success doesn’t lead to happiness. When you have a lot money, everything you buy is a temporary happiness fix…it is never sustained. It's kind of like people on drugs, they are never satisfied so they often think more drugs or better drugs will do the trick but it never does.    

Money buys you a pseudo world and you never know what the real world is until your influence and/ or money is gone. Your world becomes much quieter when you no longer have these things because your phone will stop ringing. You end up finding out who your real friends are and if you end up with a handful you're blessed.

Before I retired as a business owner, I had so many friends it was unbelievable. I could’ve eaten out almost every night of the week if I wanted because people wanted to be around me. Then when I left the company I was dropped like a hot potato. At first it bothered me because people who I thought were friends moved on, but then I realized it has always been this way. It wasn’t me but just how the system works. Money makes you more attractive. Money makes you funnier. Money makes you the smartest person in the room. Money makes you a social phenom. Money makes you believe in a world that doesn’t really exist. Knowing and believing this upfront will give you a much softer landing.

Mary
1/1/2013 04:02:40 am

I loved it. The thing that hit me the hardest was everything losing its luster. Like someone said, we work so hard to get money to buy things we never have time to appreciate. I choose happiness!

Michael
1/1/2013 11:43:48 am

What a great way to get focused for the new year. Thanks!

Danny
1/2/2013 01:55:48 am

Absolutely fantastic...thanks so much!!

Brook
1/2/2013 02:30:33 am

I hope you don't mind but I copied and pasted your post into an email and now it's flying around the country to my family and friends and I'm sure they'll be slinging it as well. What a perfect blog for the new year. So many areas reached me but what you wrote about focusing on my strengths and how our weaknesses are often personality related was liberating. Thank you so much!!!

Megan
1/3/2013 02:40:41 pm

I'm on board! Thanks!!

Matt
2/25/2013 11:40:46 pm

Absolutely the best explanation of the pitfalls of success I've ever read and your tips for achieving success rivals that of Tony Robbins.


Comments are closed.

    Author: John Mann

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